Verifier’s Dictionary

Originally posted on 19th January 2009

When I first started leaving comments in Blogger I was intrigued to see that the comment verification system used a set of fascinating archaic or slang words: ones whose meanings are, I suspect, unknown to many people here.

I am therefore providing this small sample in the hope that it will bring enlightenment to some of you, and that these words may never utterly die out from the English language.

ankstonn v. t. to cause astonishment by making an embarrassingly foolish or inappropriate comment or statement, esp. when done so by a well-known politician or celebrity.
bersthym n. the painful and humiliating initiation ritual that must be undergone by those wishing to use a Microsoft product.
comenlet n. a pubic or underarm hair found in an item of food one is eating, esp. one not detected until it is already in one’s mouth.
conakle n. one who places inordinate value on his or her car licence plate and the word(s) it spells out: a worthless or contemptible person: a pustule.
deversin n. a forbidden yet highly gratifying act, esp. one proscribed by the Southern Baptist Convention or the Scottish Presbyterian Church (or both).
entsugh n. the ancient right granted to Welshmen by Henry III that allows them to belch and scratch their testicles when in the presence of an Englishman of higher rank.
frismest n. the feeling of intense excitement experienced on seeing that Simon has just updated his blog: a prolonged and deeply satisfying orgasm.
jaced adj. very drunk: used of a person who is so intoxicated he walks in a series of wild swerves, occasionally banging into things and falling over.
manca interj. the exclamation of horror made when one realises that one has irrevocably deleted one’s entire collection of early Japanese pornography from one’s hard drive.
mutre n. a large, disgusting spot, sore, or other facial disfigurement that is discovered upon returning home after an evening spent in the company of a person whose affection one wishes to gain.
nanta n. a mythical sea creature described in old Norse texts as being of gigantic size and with an insatiable appetite for human flesh, now believed by historians to refer to a herring, or possibly a turbot.
nolati n. a sexual perversion involving the use of three short lengths of knotted twine and a banana.
palent n. a type of long, thick beard that is irresistible to certain female celebrities such as Angelina Jolie, Anne Hathaway, Kristin Kreuk etc, worn by men of great intellect and distinction.
parotsk n. an incomprehensible slang somewhat resembling a mixture of Cockney, Scouse, and Geordie, usually when used by a person one must communicate with as a matter of urgency.
phipon n. an involuntary erection that is inadequately masked by a pair of swimming trunks, running shorts etc, which reveals that one’s penis is embarrassingly small.
phyps n. pl. small aquatic growths that form and accrete on the boots of rod-fishermen who remain standing in one spot for too long.
prewaype n. the small globule of mucus that perpetually dangles from the tip of one’s nose when one has a cold: one is unable to wipe it because one’s hands are occupied, but which fails to drop off of its own accord.
relve v. t. to dip a biscuit or cracker into a tub of cheese spread that belongs to another person.
rullyers n. a disease of cattle, and of persons who practise bestiality with affected livestock, resulting in the loss of control of the bowels and the appearance of large warts on the genitals.
tarypt n. something highly treasured, esp. of a nostalgic or romantic nature, such as a framed photograph of Dick Cheney in the nude.
throp v. i. to pick out a lump of half-congealed nasal mucus from one’s nose and eat it: n. a person who does so, esp. in public.

---

NOTES

Back on Journalspace I created no fewer than three selections of dictionary definitions that were based on the usernames of JS members; sadly this depended heavily on recognising the names in question, so they must sink into obscurity.